Vertere’s New Turntable Spins Records, and Your Sense of Financial Responsibility

I was fully prepared to let Friday vanish like a sock in a high-efficiency dryer. I had my shoes off and my brain in low-power mode. And then, BAM! Vertere decided to announce a new version of their $5,400 DG X turntable, as if vinyl needed another reason to feel superior to Spotify.

I couldn’t let the clock strike midnight without giving this glorious slab of audiophile overengineering the snark it deserves. So here we are. One last spin before the weekend.

The DG X: Because Your Vinyl Deserves a Suspension System Nicer Than Your Car’s

Vertere, the spiritual home of people who still believe digital audio is a fad, just unveiled their all-new DG X turntable. And when they say “all-new,” they mean it. This isn’t just a minor refresh. It’s a full-blown mechanical renaissance for your Fleetwood Mac LPs.

Let’s break it down:

• New bearing: Not just any bearing—a precision tungsten carbide ball riding in a polished spindle. I don’t even give my knees that much attention.
• Motor drive: Features a programmable microprocessor with a D/A converter, because obviously your record player needs the kind of processing power we once used to launch a moon mission.
• Tri-layer plinth: Constructed like an architectural model of a Swiss bank vault. It’s like acoustic feng shui for rich people.

Groove Runner X: The Tonearm That Went to Graduate School

The tonearm (called the Groove Runner X, because of course it is) has five layers of polymer bonding. It’s more engineered than the friendships on The Bachelor. This tonearm is so precisely balanced it could probably teach a yoga class.

Add in adjustable geometry, detachable beams, and a counterweight system that sounds like it was borrowed from a satellite—and suddenly, I’m questioning whether my Crosley deserves to live.

Setup in 10 Minutes, Emotional Justification May Take Years

According to Vertere, you can have the DG X unboxed and playing music in under 10 minutes. That’s fast—barely enough time for you to reflect on the financial decisions that led you to drop over five grand on a machine that plays 1970s technology with 2025 engineering.

But hey, it’s not about the money. It’s about the warmth. The tactile joy. The inner sense of sonic enlightenment that only comes when a perfectly weighted arm hits a cork/Neoprene/nitrile composite mat spinning on a microprocessor-controlled platter.

Worth Every Penny of Someone Else’s Money

If you’ve ever looked at your tax return and thought “what this really needs is a tri-point tonearm bearing,” the Vertere DG X is calling your name. At $5,400, it’s either a steal… or the final boss of your midlife crisis.

Either way, I’m glad I caught this before Friday escaped. Because some things—like German bearings, floating plinths, and end-of-week tech snark—just can’t wait ‘til Monday.