This Week in Snark: Vibe Coding, Roblox Reality Check, and OpenAI’s Fully Automated Takeover

It was another glorious, snark-filled week in tech. We had the highs, like the undeniable rise of vibe coding, and the lows, like finally giving Roblox the side-eye it deserves. Across more than 25 stories, we tackled everything from OpenAI’s existential AI problems to SXSW startup pitch winners. Let's dive in.

Here are a dozen highlights:

Roblox: The Lottery That Trains Kids to Spend, Not Win

Roblox has mastered the art of the kid casino, where the house always wins and the jackpot is a slightly shinier virtual hat. Parents, just hand over your wallets now.

Binance’s New $2 Billion Investment Proves Even Institutions Love a Little Risk

Crypto’s wild west isn’t so wild when even institutions are rolling the dice. Binance is dropping billions, proving that sometimes, the biggest gamblers wear suits.

AI CEO, AI Board, AI Employees—OpenAI’s Fully Automated Enterprise is Finally Here

Why stop at replacing workers with AI when you can replace the entire C-suite? OpenAI is finally doing what every shareholder secretly dreams of.

SiliconSnark Article Accidentally Wipes Out $1 Trillion in Market Cap—Oops

Turns out, satire can be too effective. Our bad.

Flock Safety Secures $275M to Keep an Even Closer Eye on You

Because if there's one thing the world desperately needed, it's more high-tech surveillance! Flock Safety is raking in the cash to expand its network of always-watching license plate readers, ensuring no one ever speeds away from their HOA-approved dystopia unscanned.

Lovable’s New UX Editor and the Rise of Vibe Coding

Forget logic and structure. Coding is now all about the vibes, baby. Lovable’s new UX editor leans fully into the just go with it approach, where design is no longer about usability but about feeling your way through the ether.

Sony’s Latest TV Tech: LCDs, But Make Them Fancy

Sony's got a new plan: take LCD screens, slap some cutting-edge tech on them, and pretend they’re not LCDs. It’s the same old pixels with a new marketing spin. Just like every other TV launch for the past decade.

Meta Outsources Truth to the Masses—What Could Go Wrong?

Meta, tired of moderating its own platform, has decided to let the people fact-check each other. Because when has the internet ever gotten anything wrong before?

UiPath Acquires Peak, Achieves Peak Agentic Buzzword Usage

The AI automation giant UiPath just acquired a company named Peak, meaning they have now reached Peak Peak. Somewhere, a consultant is high-fiving themselves.

Apple Releases Faster Macs, Reviewers Stunned by the Obvious

Apple announced that their new Macs are… wait for it… faster than the old ones. Groundbreaking.

Ray-Ban Meta x Coperni: The $600 Glasses You’ll Never Own

Meta, still trying to make smart glasses a thing, teamed up with Coperni for a $600 pair. The only thing smarter than these glasses is the marketing department that convinced anyone to buy them.

Pikachu, Pack Your Bags—You’re Moving

Niantic is shaking things up in the Pokémon universe, and fans are either thrilled or outraged. Either way, Pikachu is getting evicted.

The AI That Writes Too Well: A Cautionary Tale from OpenAI’s Lab

Turns out, making an AI that’s too good at writing might backfire when it starts questioning its own existence. Existential crisis: now in chatbot form.

Google’s New AI, Gemini 3, in Plain English

Google’s latest AI, Gemini 3, promises to be more human-like than ever. Great news for efficiency, terrible news for the people who actually work at Google.

10 Things I Hope My New Roomba Will Do

It vacuums, but does it also fold laundry, file taxes, and destroy all evidence of my poor life choices? No? Then why did I buy it?

That’s a wrap for this week! Whether you’re an AI optimist, a tech cynic, or just here for the snark, we’ll be back next week with even more. Until then, keep questioning everything. And maybe think twice before investing in virtual hats.