This Week in Snark
This Week in Snark: Valuations, Vibes, and the Continued Death of Subtlety
Read tech's biggest stories on AI valuations, social media, CES hype, crypto “breakthroughs,” and why confidence now outpaces reality.
Satire
10 Totally Serious Arguments for OpenAI’s $830B Valuation
OpenAI’s rumored $830B valuation has the tech world buzzing. SiliconSnark offers 10 totally serious reasons why it works.
This Week in Snark
This Week in Snark: GPT-5.2, Vibe Snarking, and the Relentless March of Tech Absurdity
A snarky weekly roundup of AI hype, music tech giants, smart rings, vibe snarking, and corporate tech cosplay — all in one SiliconSnark digest.
AI
GPT-5.2 + Disney: OpenAI’s $1B Answer to Google Gemini and the AI Hype Cycle
OpenAI drops GPT-5.2 and a $1B Disney deal, flexing on Gemini with better benchmarks and Mickey-powered Sora.
This Week in Snark
Apple Schemes, Netflix Grovels, Anthropic Wins, and Google Throws a Parade: This Week in Snark
Apple's AI long game, Netflix gets rejected, Anthropic lands $200M, and OpenAI battles Google in this week’s SiliconSnark tech recap.
Guides
Deep Dive Into Why OpenAI Will Still Beat Google—Even After Gemini 3’s Victory Parade
Why OpenAI may still beat Google in consumer AI, even after all the Gemini 3 hype. Model power isn’t the whole story.
Launch
Uber and WeRide Robotaxis Go Live in Middle East while U.S. Argues About Cones and Compliance
Abu Dhabi goes live with Level 4 driverless robotaxis from WeRide and Uber, leaving the U.S. arguing about AI benchmarks instead of building the future.
This Week in Snark
This Week in Snark: Roblox Face Scans, Cloudflare Chaos, Nvidia 2030, and Hypersonic Everything
A snark-packed roundup of the week’s tech chaos—from Roblox face scans to Nvidia 2030, Cloudflare outages, hypersonics, VisualScale.ai, and OpenAI drama.
Guides
The Definitive 2025 Guide to Whether OpenAI Is Actually in Trouble
A sharp, deeply reported deep dive into OpenAI’s financial strain, trust issues, governance drama, and rising competition.
This Week in Snark
This Week in Snark: Tiny Acquisitions, Big Policies, and AI That Thinks It’s Your Therapist
This Week in Snark covers Nomic Bio’s proteomics breakthrough, Karnataka’s ₹518 crore startup policy, SoftBank’s “Crystal Intelligence,” EPOS’s AI headset, AirIQ’s tiny IoT takeover, and our guide to AI job loss—with equal parts humor and horror.
AI
SoftBank and OpenAI Invent “Crystal Intelligence,” Because Regular Intelligence Was Too Mainstream
SoftBank and OpenAI have teamed up to launch SB OAI Japan GK, introducing “Crystal Intelligence” — a buzzword-laden AI platform promising to redefine Japanese enterprise.
AI
Adaptive Security: The OpenAI-Funded Startup Training Workers Not to Fall for Deepfakes
Adaptive Security, an OpenAI-backed startup just named to Fortune’s Cyber 60, wants to train humans not to fall for AI scams.