This Week in Snark: Vibe Coding, Roblox Reality Check, and OpenAI’s Fully Automated Takeover
Across more than 25 stories, we tackled everything from OpenAI’s existential AI problems to SXSW startup pitch winners. Let's dive in.
Funding
Snark Bytes: Flock Safety Secures $275M to Keep an Even Closer Eye on You
Flock Safety unveils its latest coup de main: a staggering $275 million raise aimed at propelling its so-called “safety technology ecosystem.”
Binance’s New $2 Billion Investment Proves Even Institutions Love a Little Risk
Binance, the crypto world's reigning heavyweight champion of regulatory hide-and-seek, just landed a whopping $2 billion investment from MGX, the Abu Dhabi-based AI and advanced technology investor.
Snark Bytes: Dexterity Raises $95M to Teach Robots the Joys of Manual Labor
Dexterity just raised $95 million and announced it with a LinkedIn post so brief it felt like an afterthought. No details, no fanfare, just a link to a much longer Bloomberg feature, because why explain your own vision when a paywall can do it for you?
Turing’s $111M Series E: When in Doubt, Just Say "AGI"
Turing secures $111M to advance AGI, or as we like to call it, ‘the perpetual AI fundraising machine.’ Investors just can’t resist those glowing red eyes.
Ramp’s $13B Valuation: Another Fintech Victory Lap We Couldn’t Ignore
Ramp, the “leading financial operations platform” (as they humbly describe themselves), announced with great fanfare that their valuation has ballooned to $13 billion.
Genspark Raises $100M to Take on Google, Investors Display Advanced Stage of Wishful Thinking
Bold. Ambitious. Maybe a little delusional. That’s the general sentiment surrounding Genspark’s recent $100 million Series A raise as the search startup bravely sets out to challenge Google’s absolute dominion over the search engine market.
The round, which values Genspark at a crisp $530 million, was backed