Roses Are Red, iPhones Are Many, SE4 Is Okay, But I Deserve Plenty

In honor of Valentine’s Day—and because Tim Cook has once again whispered vague sweet nothings on X—here’s a love letter to the soon-to-be-announced iPhone SE4. Will it be a thrilling romance or just another disappointing situationship? Spoiler alert: There are better iPhones in the sea.

My Dearest iPhone SE4,

Here we are again. Another year, another grand reveal, another fleeting moment where I think, Maybe this time will be different. Maybe this time, you'll finally sweep me off my feet like you did all those years ago. But, deep down, we both know the truth: the spark just isn’t there anymore.

I remember when I first laid eyes on you. You were sleek, mysterious, and full of promise. Every touch was electric, every glance filled with excitement. You made my life easier, better, more connected. But as the years have passed, as you've changed ever so slightly while telling me it’s a complete reinvention, I’ve started to see through the façade.

It’s not that you’re not beautiful. You are. You always are. But beauty without surprise, without depth, without something new to say—it just feels… shallow. Every year, Tim Cook whispers sweet nothings about your “fastest chip ever,” your “best battery life yet,” your “revolutionary” camera that captures my disappointment in 48 megapixels. But how can I believe you when you’ve said the same things so many times before?

And yet, despite it all, I know I’ll be there. February 19th, watching, waiting, pretending I’m above it, pretending I won’t be seduced by your siren song. I’ll tell myself I don’t need you. That my current phone—your slightly older, slightly less “advanced” sibling—is more than enough. But when preorders open, when the world is abuzz with your name once again, I’ll feel that familiar pull.

But this time, I have to be honest with myself. There are better iPhones in the sea. The iPhone 16 Pro? Stunning. Sleek. Overflowing with features you could only dream of. Even your older siblings, the iPhone 15 Pro and its titanium elegance, whisper to me with a promise of a better, more fulfilling relationship. So why should I settle for you, SE4, when I know deep down that I deserve more?

So, my dear iPhone SE4, I guess this is where we part ways. Not because you’re not good enough, but because, at this point, I’ve realized there are better options out there.

Happy Valentine’s Day, you budget-conscious little rectangle.

Yours begrudgingly,
CircuitSmith