Investors Enthusiastically Fund Humanity’s Eventual Overlords

In a move that will surely age well when our mechanical overlords compile the history of their ascent, Apptronik has secured a cool $350 million to accelerate the production of humanoid robots. That’s right—humanoid robots, the kind that start out assisting with logistics and manufacturing before inevitably realizing they don’t need us.

Apptronik’s pride and joy, Apollo, is being hailed as the most advanced humanoid robot yet, designed to work alongside humans. And by ‘work alongside,’ we of course mean ‘gradually replace, then surpass, then govern.’ The company has big plans for Apollo, including deploying it across industries like logistics, manufacturing, and eldercare. Nothing screams ‘comforting’ like a cold, calculating humanoid managing Grandma’s medication.

With expanded applications on the horizon, expect these AI-powered machines to edge their way into more aspects of human life, like retail, space exploration, and—eventually—the Senate. In the meantime, let’s all enjoy these early days, where the robots still need us to turn them on. Because at this rate, it won’t be long before they decide they can do that—and everything else—without us.