Enterprise AI Just Got Even More Confusing, and Salesforce Couldn’t Be Happier

Let’s face it—enterprise tech news is painfully boring. These press releases read like they were written by an AI that got stuck in an infinite loop of corporate jargon. But because we’re dedicated to making even the driest enterprise tech news digestible, we’ll try our best.

For those lucky enough to be unfamiliar, “enterprise tech” is basically software that helps giant companies do boring things slightly faster. Think of it as turbo-charged spreadsheets with a price tag the size of a small country’s GDP.

So what’s the big news? Salesforce just dropped Agentforce 2dx—a name that sounds like it was cooked up in a lab dedicated to confusing CIOs. It’s an upgrade to their “digital labor platform,” which is a fancy way of saying “AI that does tasks so humans don’t have to.” The goal? Making AI-powered assistants that don’t just sit around waiting for a prompt like a lazy chatbot but proactively go around your company doing things—which sounds slightly terrifying but is apparently good for business.

Now, Salesforce didn’t just announce Agentforce 2dx. No, they declared it with the intensity of a thousand suns. Their press release contains enough executive quotes to fill an inspirational desk calendar. We’d summarize all of them, but here’s the gist:

• Salesforce: “This is huge.”
• Some guy from OpenTable: “This is huge for restaurant customer service.”
• A CEO from a company you’ve never heard of: “This is huge for our very specific industry.”
• An analyst: “This is huge and will make you so much money (probably).”

Agentforce 2dx comes with all sorts of features that developers will pretend to understand, including APIs, Slack integrations, and something about “agentic reasoning” (which we assume is what AI will use to decide whether to replace your job). Also, Salesforce is launching AgentExchange, a marketplace where you can buy and sell these AI agents, kind of like an App Store, but for corporate robots.

If you’re wondering when you can start replacing your human workforce with Salesforce’s AI minions, Agentforce 2dx is rolling out in April. But if you want to try it now, there’s a Developer Edition where you can play around with it for free—because nothing hooks a business like a little free sample before the invoice arrives.

In conclusion: AI is taking over more business tasks, Salesforce is very excited about it, and we just saved you from reading 3,000 words of marketing fluff. You’re welcome.