DISREGARD THIS ARTICLE: My Final Dispatch from Mobile World Congress

DISREGARD RELEASE.

No, seriously. That’s what appeared on the Mobile World Congress press page, in bold, all-caps authority, like an emergency broadcast alert for journalists.

Naturally, I ignored that directive immediately.

Nothing piques curiosity quite like being told not to look at something. It’s like putting a giant red button in front of a room full of toddlers and sternly saying, “Don’t press this.” And yet, here we are, reading the very press release we’ve been ordered to disregard. Funny how that works, isn’t it?

So, as I wrap up my final dispatch from Mobile World Congress, I thought I’d take a brave foray into actual journalism. You know, investigating, piecing together clues, and guiding you, dear reader, to enlightenment. And what better way to do so than with my favorite journalistic pastime: analyzing the silly dance of corporate communication!

The subject of this latest disregarded communiqué is none other than Fibocom, a company that, until today, I was blissfully unaware of. But now, thanks to their dramatic insistence that I ignore their own announcement, I am deeply, irreversibly intrigued.

I could be cruel and lay out exactly what they wanted the world to disregard, but I’m feeling generous. Instead, let’s play a game. Here are five clues about Fibocom’s mystery announcement. See if you can guess what it is!

1. It’s smaller than your wallet but (apparently) smarter than you.
2. It wants to be your travel companion, but it’s not legally allowed to sit in the exit row.
3. It’s a ‘Buddy,’ but not the kind that would help you move a couch.
4. It boasts ‘self-evolution,’ which sounds either like a sci-fi marvel or the plot of an ill-advised sequel to Her.
5. It’s designed to attach to your gadgets, so much like that one friend who overstays their welcome, it’s always there.

Yes, my friends, Fibocom has announced something truly groundbreaking, revolutionary, and undeniably existent. What is it? Well, that’s for you to find out! After all, I wouldn’t dare write about something I was explicitly told to disregard.

And with that, my Mobile World Congress coverage comes to an end. It was a glorious congress. A magnificent congress. Possibly even the greatest congress of all time. But like all good things, it must come to an end, preferably before I get an email instructing me to disregard my own existence.

Until next year!