BuzzFeed Declares War on Doomscrolling with ‘Joyful’ Social Platform

BuzzFeed has announced its brilliant plan to launch a social platform that will “restore joy and creativity.”

Jonah Peretti, BuzzFeed’s founder and CEO (and self-proclaimed champion of The Future of the Internet™), warns us about the monstrous reign of SNARF—Stakes, Novelty, Anger, Retention, and Fear. Apparently, these negative vibes have infested our precious feeds, and now BuzzFeed is swooping in on a white horse to save us from ourselves.

Instead of scrolling past rage-fueled political debates and 3,000 identical dance challenges, this new platform will be a magical fairyland. What can we expect to find in this new cyberspace paradise? Mystery. Surprise. Possibly some AI-powered quizzes that’ll pinpoint your favorite pizza toppings based on your taste in memes. Beyond that, the details are hush-hush—but you can sign up for early access.