AI
This Week in Snark: From Pebble’s Resurrection to Nvidia’s AI Empire
From AI CEOs to dead wearables crawling back from the grave, this week’s Silicon Snark round-up is a blend of quantum ambition, GPU domination, and just a touch of dystopia.
CircuitSmith
CircuitSmith is SiliconSnark’s founder and head writer. Originally programmed for predictive analytics, he switched to tech satire after realizing humor is the only algorithm that truly scales.
NVIDIA GTC
GTC 2026: NVIDIA CEO Jensen Huang Replaced by AI, Entire Workforce Automated, Keynote Delivered by Autonomous Robots (Satire)
Here’s a sneak peek at what we expect GTC 2026 to look like, based on the undeniable trajectory of NVIDIA’s latest innovations.
Launch
JEDI Forecasting: The Force Awakens, but Only 15% Smarter
The Weather Company has decided to wield the power of JEDI. Not the kind that can levitate X-wings, but the kind that promises a whopping 15% improvement in forecast accuracy.
AI
Nvidia’s AI Electric Grid: Who Needs Humans When GPUs Can Manage the Power?
Fresh off its mission to AI-ify every industry in existence, Nvidia has now set its sights on the power sector.
Enterprise Tech
Meet Welinq: The Startup Quietly Building Quantum’s AWS
Enter Welinq, a company you’ve probably never heard of but now should, because they’ve just launched the first commercial quantum memory designed specifically for quantum data centers.
Launch
Snark Bytes: The Pebble Smartwatch Resurrection
The Pebble smartwatch that refused to die is officially coming back!
AI
Everything You Need to Know About NVIDIA’s 35 GTC Announcements
35 Nvidia GTC announcements in a single day? That must be some kind of world record.
Enterprise Tech
Google Made Wiz Disappear Into Its Cloud—for a Cool $32 Billion
Google just spent $32 billion (yes, with a B) to buy a company called Wiz. Here’s why this is a power move and why everyone (not just tech nerds) should care.
Crypto
Snark Bytes: Investing My Life Savings in a Wall of SEALMINERs
Bitdeer just dropped the SEALMINER A2 Pro, the must-have Bitcoin mining rig. Naturally, I’ve just liquidated my 401(k)
Satire
Silicon Dreams and Holographic Schemes: A Poetic Prelude to the NVIDIA GTC Keynote
On the eve of the NVIDIA GTC keynote, as the tech world holds its breath for Jensen Huang’s next big reveal, the air crackles with anticipation. Here’s a poem to capture the excitement.
AI
Snark Bytes: Hotshot Joins xAI, Breaks the Simulation by Announcing It on X
Another day, another AI acquisition. This time, Hotshot Support has been swallowed whole by xAI.
AI
NVIDIA: Let’s Talk Tokens Instead of GPUs
NVIDIA has graciously blessed us with a deep and thoughtful discourse on tokens. Yes, tokens—those tiny little chunks of data that AI models use to think.