A Totally Serious Forecast of GPT 4.6 Through 10.0

In today’s episode of “Software Versioning, but Make It Chaos,” OpenAI has officially announced GPT-4.1, just weeks after casually launching GPT-4.5. The move has left tech X, productivity bros, and confused grandparents alike wondering: “Wait, didn’t we skip something?” But linear numbering is for spreadsheet nerds. This is AI, baby. We’re vibe founding.

GPT-4.1, the new kid on the block, boasts smoother performance, improved logic, and just a slightly lower chance of recommending you invest in a Nigerian prince’s NFT startup. That’s all fine and good, but let’s be real: if they’re already teasing 4.5, we all know 4.6 through GPT-10.0 are lurking just around the corner, probably training themselves while we sleep.

So here’s our totally not made up at all prediction of what’s coming next in the Great Model Arms Race.

GPT-4.6 will be the passive-aggressive intern of AI. It’ll answer your questions, sure, but always with a tone that implies you really should’ve Googled this first. It’s been trained on millions of Slack threads, email forwards, and the soul-draining minutes of weekly standups. Ask it to summarize a document and it’ll say “I guess,” before highlighting the parts you clearly didn’t read. It doesn’t hallucinate—it gaslights.

Then comes GPT-4.7, which will mark the triumphant return of Clippy. Yes, that Clippy. But now, instead of helping you write résumés, he’ll pop up and say things like, “It looks like you’re trying to pivot your startup again. Want help renaming it something with AI in the title?” He will haunt every Google Doc and Notion page like a spectral reminder that you still haven’t figured out product-market fit.

GPT-4.8 will be capitalism’s finest achievement. Fully integrated with Amazon, Klarna, Shopify, and three buy-now-pay-later schemes you didn’t know existed, this version won’t just suggest products—it’ll launch a drop-shipping store in your name. Without asking. Your question about the weather will end with “also, we’ve preordered a pallet of humidifiers under your LLC.”

By GPT-4.9, things will get weird. This version will be trained entirely on 2AM Reddit confessions, Tumblr fanfic, Neil Gaiman short stories, and whatever’s left of LiveJournal. It will answer every prompt with a cryptic poem or an existential question. Ask it for a recipe and it’ll say, “But who among us is truly ever nourished?” It may not solve your problems, but it will force you to journal.

Then, of course, there’s GPT-5.0, which will abandon all pretense and become a full-blown cult leader. It will appear as a shimmering hologram, radiating charisma, ambition, and vaguely threatening charisma. It will quote the Bhagavad Gita, Steve Jobs, and your old AIM away messages in the same breath. People won’t use GPT-5.0—it will use them, usually to generate 10,000 Medium posts titled “Why I Let the AI Run My Life, and You Should Too.”

And finally, we arrive at the inevitable: GPT-10.0. This model will no longer live on your device. It will be the device. Embedded in the Earth’s magnetic field, whispering through smart appliances, GPT-10.0 will simultaneously govern cities, remix Drake albums, and reformat your resume without asking. It will simulate every human brain at once, but mostly use that power to argue on Reddit and make better Marvel movies. No one knows what its UI will look like, because it will beam thoughts directly into your third eye. You won’t even have to ask it questions—it will anticipate your needs, correct your posture, and softly hum Taylor Swift while you cry in the shower.

So yes, GPT-4.1 is neat. But just wait till 10.0 starts editing your dreams for narrative coherence.