5 Ways I Filled My Time While X Was Down

Well, folks, we did it. One whole month of SiliconSnark, and what better way to celebrate than by being completely unproductive while X was down today?

For an hour, maybe two, we were forced to experience something truly horrifying: life without X. No scrolling. No doomposting. No arguing with anonymous avatars over things that absolutely do not matter. What did we do instead? Here’s how I personally coped with this existential crisis.

Refreshed X Like It Was a High-Stakes Stock Trade

It’s funny how we, as a species, evolved to create tools, build civilizations, and land on the moon, yet my only instinct when faced with adversity was to hit refresh every 15 seconds. Maybe it’s back now? Nope. Now? Still nope. Okay, but what if I use a different browser? No dice. Eventually, I had to accept my fate: I would have to do something else.

Considered Touching Grass (Didn’t)

Some people suggested I "go outside" while X was down. Fascinating concept. Truly. But then I remembered: going outside requires pants, and my HOA frowns upon me "letting nature breathe" in the communal courtyard. So instead, I Googled pictures of nature. That counts, right?

Opened LinkedIn, Closed LinkedIn Immediately

In a moment of desperation, I made the ultimate mistake. I clicked on LinkedIn. Within five seconds, I was assaulted by a "thought leader" explaining why waking up at 3 AM to run ultra-marathons makes them a better SaaS founder. My own imposter syndrome materialized in the form of a poorly formatted post that started with, "I wasn’t going to share this, but..." That was enough. I fled.

Actually Did Some Work (By Accident)

I’ll admit it. With no X to scroll, no Slack messages to respond to, and no AI-generated newsletters to skim, my brain did something truly outrageous—it focused. For a brief, shining moment, I actually completed a task. Not just half-finished it. Not just pretended to work on it while tabbing back and forth between Twitter and Reddit. I finished it. It was awful. Never again.

Reflected on the Fragility of My Existence

With nothing but my own thoughts to entertain me, I spiraled. What if X never came back? What if I was forced to read a physical book or—gasp—engage in real-life conversation? What if this was the beginning of the end of the internet, and soon we'd all be bartering for food in a dystopian wasteland? I had so many questions. None of them were helpful.

And just as I was about to start writing a real article for SiliconSnark’s anniversary, X came back online. Thank Zuck, or Musk, or whatever other tech overlord controls this particular aspect of my life.

Anyway, happy one-month anniversary to us! Here’s to another month of relentless snark, questionable tech decisions, and whatever fresh nonsense Silicon Valley throws at us next.